The Bonding Experience

I was of of those babies that never bonded with their mom after birth. No it wasn't me it was hepatitis, somehow my mom got hepatitis at my birth. It was never my fault, I was an embryo, fetus, baby..but I have and still do hear about how my mom had to be in the hospital for 5 months after I was born.
My auntie Helen, my mom's younger sister ,took a bus from South Boston to take care of me. I bonded with my Aunt, it is so strange to have that feeling, and how it still lingers on. I have always though it strange that we both have the same beauty mark under the same eye in the same spot. I have always found my self drawn to her eyes and that spot and wondered , could Aunt Helen be my mother. I held on to this thought for years, thinking I know when the time is right they will sit me down and tell me the whole story how I was really Aunt Helen's daughter, that she was too young to take care of me, and had no husband, so Mom and Dad were to raise me as their child.I thought maybe on my 18th birthday they will tell me, my first marriage, the birth of my first child.the dates and days came and went ,desperate around my 50th birthday I confronted my Aunt and begged her to tell me she was my mom.
My Aunt felt bad that she couldn't tell me what I so wanted to hear. I cried and wondered, how I could have someone as a mother that was so unlike me. My world had to come to a reality I was not ready to face, she was not my mom. I think I cried as though it was a death, maybe it was a death to dream I carried for so long.

I was born with a plastic spork

I wasn't born with a silver spoon, far from it, maybe a plastic spork. I was born in July of 1959, to a stay at home mom ,and daughter of a factory worker. My mother was born in South Boston, daughter of an Irish immigrant and longshoreman, and third from the bottom of 13 children,one of three girls. My mothers family all lived in a 2 bedroom apartment in the heart of Southie. Most of my mothers family were alcoholics..I believe it comes from Irish Catholic blood,and she was the only one to finish High School, at the ripe ole age of 35, and spent time in a Sanitarium for contacting TB.(really mom,sure it wasn't insanity?)
My father was born  8 months before the stock market crash of '29, in Ingham County the 3rd child of four. He was raised by his mother's mother, although I never knew why. Dad came from a generation of farmers, although his calling went to build cars, eventually joining the Navy,and returning back to General Motors with a trade of plumbing.My father could never spell or read,  and could write no more than his name, but dang he could build houses, and he knew his trig( how does that happen?) Did I mention he was 5'5" but handsome!!
They met ,while my father, in the Navy, the ship ported in Boston,.AT A PARTY...she was 17, he 23. Their first words my dad spoke to my mom were " I think I am going to puke" .. Yeah that's right 17 year old girl at a drinking party with a bunch of drunk sailors. Well they got engaged and 2 years later married. I think my mothers reason was to get out of that damm 3rd floor 2 bedroom apartment with 13 people living there. My father, well I didn't tell you, he was 20 when he graduated High School, and he had a very bad speech impediment,studdderrinnng. Guess what.. I never noticed..he was dad and he was perfect.so I guess they both found someone, for there own reason, to get away or to have someone.
I am only giving you this information so you can start to see my background and what I was up against.